TheWeeklyComet-Issue9

Some witches are working on a potion against Zirik Dagokai. More than 5000 of these so-called 'Witches of the Martian Covenant' and their supporters have signed a petition demanding that the CEO/head of state recognize Earth-derived witch craft and other forms of occult devotion "as a true and valid religion as defined by national law." If he doesn't, they say, they'll file a civil-rights suit-wait, Mars and civil rights? Did we miss something? In related news, the meditating boy that has captured the attention of the Kemetic Church in Epiphyte has mysteriously disappeared. The Ghueri are organizing a search of the city and nearby desert-after all, even if he is the next Kemetic Dali-lama or Set-Osiris, wandering around during sandstorm season probably isn't the best spiritual move.

Psycho Desert Hare Stalks Lopangan Leader and Family

Lopangan Secretary of State, Paris, has buffed up security around her home in recent months due to a stalker, but it looks as though she can fear no more. Larry Wiggins, 42, of the Warren, was taken into custody yesterday by port authorities on the Green Lioness, as he made an attempt to physically contact Paris and her daughter. Officials found Wiggins unarmed, but carrying two vials of scratch and a notebook of photos taken of the secretary and her family. The Secretary's publicist has yet to issue a statement.

Laughing Lotion

A launch for a new cosmetic boutique in Cephalon the other day went over with more smoothness and moisture than previously thought possible. But before you get the wrong idea, we'll clarify. UlaUrchin's elixiar of beauty, which is said to provide fur with a glossy finish and extra solar protection, has a quirk to it that wasn't worked out in the final rounds of lab testing: that is, anyfur who wears it will find themselves unable to control their laughter as the sea kelp extract causes some sensory overload to the nerves right beneath the skin. As a result, customers, who included First Lady Elizabeth Delacriox, and debutante, Nadya Ansgar, found themselves shrieking with uncontrollable laughter minutes after applying the tester of cream to their paws.

Fraternizing with the Enemy

And also on Oceania, during the on-going Marti-Paws season in the tropics, 7th Wave/Lopangan Navy leader, Pandora Ceridwyn, was spotted enjoying ice cream with a member of the Iridian Fleet, Capt. Scott LeBark, 33, of Nevan Is. Besides the extra sprinkles though, nothing else looked particularly scandalous, as the two reportedly discussed wind-surfing in lieu of space raids. Neither party would comment to our reporter unfortunately.

Inarian De-briefing

Chancellor Thorsson's press office sure is busy these days, but the latest breaking story actually concerns his favored successor, the Moderate candidate, Daniel Rexus. Rexus it seems has gotten himself in a bit of trouble with a female public safety staffur, Monica Kenneth, 23, who alleges that Rexus groped her buttocks while the two were alone in his office. Neither party is commenting to the press at this time, however. In other news, Chancellor Thorsson was spotted out on a fishing trip yesterday with his Intelligence Minister Devik Wolf, and Mr. Rexus both in tow. Afterwards the three reportedly made their rounds in the VIP room at Malty's pub. No word on whether or not this was an impromptu bachelor party for Hagalaz.