TheWeeklyComet-Issue8

A male teenaged lion has piqued the interest of the Kemetic Church and civil officers in Epiphyte city, Lopanga. The boy, thought to be around 14 years of age, has been holding vigil in the Stone Circle for the last two months. According to our sources, the boy has subjected himself to rigorous fasting, and subsists only on minute amounts of water, poppy milk and flatbread offered to him by others. He uses only a thick reed blanket to protect himself from the wicked desert elements. As of yet, the Kemetic Church is not commenting on the boy, but the Parent-Teacher Association of Annyrion has stated concerns about his school attendance and health.

Memory loss plagues Mars

Somewhere on Amundsen, in an ionized water pipe, something went terribly wrong-and we can't quite remember what it is. This outbreak of what scientists are calling Amnesium Fistolus is characterized by extreme, but temporary memory loss and itchy red bumps beneath the fur. Dr. Jean Talonheart of the Martian Preventative Health Association has issued the following statement: "In extreme cases, shortness of breath or erections lasting over 4 hours may also result from exposure to the contaminated water. Fursons showing these symptoms should seek medical attention."

Lunar Club Controversy

Since the meteor disaster and reconstruction, officials on Luna have been racking their brains to try and bump up business. Unfortunately, this weekend they got more business than they bargained for. Club Ninja unveiled a series of surprise special guest exotic dancers, which included the likes of smoking vixens Blu and MM, as well as the notoriously handsome golden fox, Nine. The dancers drew such a raucous crowd that riot control had to be called in order to keep excited patrons from jumping on stage! The Comet was there to watch the action and interview a patron. Jessica Fallentail, of Feris Lane told us: "It's always been my dream to meet Nine. I wanna be a dancer when I grow up-er when I graduate-er, wait, don't print that, I told you I was 21!" Sponsor of the event, Swank Productions, has issued the following statement in retaliation to moral complaints from the Lunar police force: "Our fans were simply enjoying themselves and giving Luna much needed business. We are proud that everyone came out to support their favorite celebrities for such an important cause. We look forward to working with Club Ninja in the future." In related news, the Church of Luna has withdrew their bid to hold bingo night in the club basement. Marti-paws season---> Finally after being delayed due to some nasty storms in the tropics, the Marti-paws celebrations in the Nevan Island Nexus are a go. Furs wishing to partake in the festivities should make tracks towards Rokhar Beach, and scoop up a cabana at the Artrus Hotel before it's too late! The boardwalk will be open morning, noon and night, and in case one island isn't enough of a party, expect the festivities to spread across the bridge to Salurdariiz.

Extra: Annyrion Election Report

Daniel Rexus, the favored moderate candidate for the upcoming elections in Inaria, Annyrion, will be hosting a charity gala this weekend. Being the big-hearted lion he is, a portion of the proceeds garnered from political supporters will go towards the pediatric wing of Annyrion General Hospital. While the altruism of this gesture is apparent in its own sake, the Comet speculates that this might also have something to do with fostering camaraderie with a certain healthcare official rumored to be engaged to a certain irbis who's still in charge of running the planet. We'll keep you posted …