TheWeeklyComet-Issue10

Iridia University, Cephalon -- An archaeology class witnessed an accident of rare and terrible proportions. Dr. Hank Leon, 56, professor of Ancient Terran Civilization, was using an old 40mm round as a paperweight during a demonstration. Found at an antiquities fair, he assumed the explosives to be long-decayed and therefore, harmless for all intents and purposes. Unfortunately, the round was live and when he accidentally dropped a book on top of a desk, the round went off and cost him his right hand-paw and also second degree burns on the arm. Dr. Leon is being treated at Memorial Hospital. According to trauma specialist Dr. Tash Olne, "The prognosis on his (prosthetic) hand and burns is looking fine." No one else attending the lecture was injured. The Cephalon Archaeological society has generously offered to pay for the damage to the room.

Little green men on Jalan

Maybe not green, but furry critters have caught the eyes of a research team that is currently exploring the tropical forests of Zakirtugeka (aka New Z-land). According to the latest reports, scientists have found a sub-species of Flavians, the planet's native flying animals. "We called them Zakiflavs for now," a researcher anonymously told our paper via satellite radio. "It seems that we aren't just studying them, they're also studying us. They pick up our language and some are actually talking back to us." Is this the discovery of a new intelligence or is it just mad scientist blowing off steam? Stay tuned as we find out more for you!

Martian Burglar Masseuse

Last night a burglar broke into the condo of Annabel Croix, 34, of Amundsen. To comfort her and "relieve the stress of being burglarized" Croix tells Comet reporters that the masked fur who stole 1,000 credits in cash and 5,000cr in electronic equipment and jewelry from her home gave her a massage. "He told me not to be scared, after he finished (tying me up to a kitchen chair). That's when he started rubbing my shoulders and neck." Aside from the massage and the theft of personal property, Croix reports no other injuries. The suspect is still on the run from Martian police. The victim describes the burglar as a 'male canine with grayish fur.' If you have any information please call our hotline at: 099-BITE-CRIME

Luna Hospital Denies Right to Death

Thinking about signing a living will? You might have wished you'd done this already if you were Igor Avery, 84, of Felis Lane Retirement Community. Avery was taken to Canis General Luna after suffering a heart attack. As medics rushed him into emergency surgery, they were shocked to discover that the patient's belly was shaved and tattooed with the words: "Do not resuscitate." However, Dr. Vivienne Tuna found herself with no other choice. Unless the patient has made his requests legal, the hospital cannot simply let you die. Avery has recovered from surgery and is in stable condition.

Having an Electoral Ball! (Xtra!)

"Arise, loyal one, forgiven." With these words, the outgoing Chancellor of the Annyrion Coalition received from his successor, Daniel Rexus, the traditional pardon for "any crimes that may have been committed while in office". While it is unclear as to whether or not Chancellor Thorsson actually committed any crimes, and while the pardon itself is largely ceremonial, it does carry full weight in a court of law. After a few closing remarks from the now-former Chancellor Thorsson and his Intelligence Minister, Devik Wolff, Daniel Rexus was sworn in as the new Chancellor of Inaria.

But we'll leave INN to bore you with those details as we report the more important stuff: e.g. the electoral ball and subsequent happenings as Annyrion City erupted into party-central. Traffic flow was restricted to emergency vehicles only throughout the metro-area as throngs of citizens gathered in the streets to celebrate the afternoon and enjoy the parades and traditional hover-car race. By sunset, Annyrion City Park was ready for the open-air Electoral gala that featured ice and laser sculptures from renowned artist, Chen Lemur. Bottomless drinks and a chocolate fountain were the favorites in the buffet, according to AC Lt. Delorean Shepard.

Even though many partygoers were content to dance the night away in the park, an even more select list of furs made their way to the Continental Hotel for the Coalition Officer's ball where Chancellor Rexus is rumored to have enjoyed a dance with his predecessor's fiancé, among many other lovely ladies - that's right - the leader of free Inaria is still single! (And in case some of you didn't catch the last episode of MountainTalks, the former Chancellor Thorsson has confirmed that the rumors are true: he and Dr. Trevelyan have been engaged since he proposed in December. See we knew all along!)

After the Officer's gala, the party circuit grew even smaller and more select between assorted penthouses, homes, and vip rooms. Here are some of the sightings:

7pm: Industry pioneer Unci, of uncia corp. acted as Jalan's goodwill ambassador in presenting the customary golden laurel to Chancellor Rexus

9pm: AC Councilfur, Tala, was snapped smooching an unidentified male lynx by the park gazebo.

10pm: Record-monger Meow_Tuna was spotted wiring a concert at the Cryptic Star with unidentified buxom female mink.

11pm: Lopangan Secretary of State, Paris, was seen assisting AC Special Agent Marshall with his boutonnière in front of Brusserio's Café.

Midnight: Frontman of the rock group Bat-Punk, Zarlyn, was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct downtown.

1am: General Tanya Fantozi was seen leaving the Continental Hotel in a limo with InterCore's Ulrich Leichtenstein, who reportedly hosted a small gathering at his villa in the Kamikatan Mountains.

2am: Daniel Rexus and his newly appointed cabinet members enjoyed private dance entertainment from two feline starlets who just happened to jump out of a delivered cake. No word on who ordered it.

3am: The former Chancellor Thorsson was spotted leaving the festivities with his fiancé, likely in search of some real 'pax uncia' after 4 long, demanding years.